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For starters, to be honest, it's not that difficult, but at the same time, in the same breath, at times, it can be insanely tough, and that statement alone sums up bodybuilding, the sport that starts, and finishes, and is won and lost, in your head before you even get near competition day!
To start off New Zealand is a pretty cool place to be a bodybuilder. We're a small country, so bodybuilding is pretty much a hobby for most involved. You get out there and do your days work to earn a crust, and before work, and/or after, is when you do the hard yards training, I dare say in places like the States you'd be hard pressed to be competitive, let alone win anything unless you were getting some, ahhh, less than, shall we say, legal help. But I don't know, and I don't want to know, suffice to say, Kiwiland is clean enough and green enough for we hobby builders to be able to be at the very least, competitive!
There are a few out there who are lucky enough to have their job as part of their hobby - personal trainers and the like, but that I think could also be a curse. For Ness and I we escape to the gym, in and out in an hour, ready to face the day. Sometimes I am picking it must be hard to be at the coalface all day, having to keep that smiling face going as you run out of energy through the day.
Sooooo, you think you've got what it takes? (use that Sergeant-Major's voice from the Sky TV world cup rugby adds when you say that, and it comes out much better). You've been watching friends / acquaintances / strangers / enemies doing it, lifting weights, leaning down, tanning up, competing, and bringing back trophies to the gym and thinking,
"hell, this can't be too hard if Bart can do it".
 
Bart in 2006 2008
Well, basically it comes down to to yourself and your grey matter. If you can beat the little demons that live in your head, deep in that grey matter, then bodybuilding is a doddle. That however, is at times a huge battle, those little demons are powerful buggers at times. I would liken them to that annoying little brother that you give hiding after hiding to, but he just doesn't give up. He always comes back for more, and now and then, when you're not looking, when you think you've won the battle, he comes back and lands a good blow to the undercarriage that curls you into the foetal position and makes you cry out for mummy! That's it in a nutshell. It is a mind over matter sport.
There is also the other half of the sport, the real world part of it, the lifting of the weights, and the clean eating. I hate the term 'diet', as when people think diet, they think a temporary fix to lose weight, before going back to eating 'normal', which is how they got fat in the first place. If I had a buck for every time someone has said to me, "when are you going to start eating normally again", I'd be a rich man. I've taken to replying, "I am eating normally, it's just that my normal and your normal don't match up!
My normal is healthy - fresh vegetables, fresh meats, and lashings of whole grain rolled oats, while yours is processed shite which makes my stomach hurt if I eat too much of it"!! Words to that effect at any rate, toned depending on my mood and how well I know the person I am talking too. Friends can get both barrels if I think they can handle it, down to just gently fly swatting strangers, but giving them enough to make them think about what they eat!
OK, mini rant done with... ...or not. It really does gripe me people thinking what we do is unhealthy. Probably for the week before a competition when you are carb depleting and dehydrating it is not so good for you, but the other 51 weeks of the year, well, you couldn't be healthier.
Compare it to other sports, rugby perhaps, where you train and eat healthy, and then bash your body against 15 other blokes, chasing after a little oval ball in an attempt to force if over a chalk line as they try and stop you, and do the same at the other end of the field. That too, is most unhealthy - look at the injury lists at the RWC for confirmation on that one... All sports when you are at the elite level have risks and rewards. In the big picture, the bodybuilding lifestyle, up until the pointy end of things pre competition is as healthy as it gets.
 Where were we, demons, eating right, training right, easy-peasy right? Hmm, sorry, time for some facts, because it ain't easy when the above pointy end arrives, but the demons can be beaten, and the rewards are most satisfying when you do manage to put those pesky little so and so's into place, and it all comes right on the day.
We'll start at the start then, first stop, if you want to do this right is getting a nutritionist on board, someone that knows what they're doing for bodybuilding. It is pretty specialised to say the least, getting the carb / protein / fat balances right - especially when you are leaning down ready to compete.
So a nutritionist and a decent trainer to put your programmes together. The trainer perhaps not so vital, so if you have to choose between the two, the food guru is the one you must have on board. People throw together different ratios for the balance of importance between diet and training, 70/30 seems to be a common one, but I don't know, I think it would be more like 80/20 at the very least. If you want your muscles to be seen, you have to be lean, and that is in the eating - there is a saying our old nutritionist used to throw at us, "you can't out train your diet", and that's true!
Another good reason to have the food guru on board is that it gives you someone to be accountable to. When you visit and get weighed and get those dreaded callipers pinching your fat and the readings come in there's no hiding. You've either followed the plan, or you've cheated, and the readings don't lie. You then get the bollocking you deserve along with the "what the fark" stamp on your progress chart, or the smiley face! We like the smileys.
The trainer is good too, myself for example have been weight training 22 years, and am a bit of a know it all. But having a trainer soon shows you that you sure don't know it all, and it snaps you out of bad habits, and when you have a third party writing your programmes, it also then includes all those exercises that you hate and would not put in yourself, but really should be doing! Also gives you an unbiased view when he looks at you leaned down as to what body parts you need to work on, and he can tailor your programme at those weak body parts. So if you can, get yourself sorted with both a trainer and a food guru!
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Vanessa and I have been lucky in our short time at the coal face of the bodybuilding world to have had three people in our corner that have all been very sharp. Teresa Edwards for our first two years handled both our food and training, and then when we moved on we picked up Tarren McCall to feed us, and Daryl (Doctor) Payne to tell us what weights to lift and when, a pretty handy team.
left: Jason, Tarren and Vanessa |
Now with the experience of two different guides down that 'what to eat' path, it is very interesting to note how different the journey can be to the same destination, the different philosophies that different people have on how to get lean etc.
That's the first task on your journey completed then. Getting your coaching staff sorted.
So now the easy part, doing what you're told. Easy in theory, but it's those bleeping demons that start to come into play now. Not with the training part, I think anyone even remotely interested in bodybuilding will have no trouble lifting the weights and doing the cardio, as it is already, for most, a lifestyle that we love and are addicted to - it's just the eating clean and lean that we all have trouble with (demon time!).
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I keep harping on about those demons. Think of those sitcoms (I think it was Married with Children - google it youngsters), where the main character is having dilemmas, and there is a little demon on one shoulder saying "do it, do it", and the little angel on the other saying, "don't do it". Al Bundy, shoe salesman, that was the one I am sure. |
Anyway, when you start following your eating plan, you're going to meet your own little demon. He, or she will be the one that points out the muffins when you go to pay for your petrol at BP, and the one who makes you walk down the chocolate biscuit isle at the supermarket. This is the hard part of the bodybuilding battle, beating the food demon!
It does get easier though as you get nearer to a competition, which you might think is a little weird. Maybe it is, but for me at least it gets easier to beat the demon as competition day nears. It's simple really, as when you are just starting on the lean down, starting to really watch what you eat, say three months out from your first competition, if you have a little cheat on your eating plan, it really ain't going to hurt toooo much.
That muffin that you might sneak down as you fuel up will not sink the ship (it might give you a 'what the fark' stamp from your food guru though). However, when you are closer to game day, weeks and days out, well, you don't want to waste the first eight weeks of your lean down by screwing up and eating something that you shouldn't! So the closer competing you are, the easier it is to beat that demon into submission. But be warned, once you have finished that competition, the demon comes back, ten times as big, and twice as powerful, when that happens though, that is an article in itself.
That then is all there is to it. Well, almost. You had also better be prepared to throw away your social life in those months leading up to competition. Being the damp squid at parties ends up not being much fun!
Once you have educated your friends and they accept that you are doing this for real it is easier, but at the end of the day, come 11pm on a Friday night, all your mates are merrily on their way to being pissed, it's just not much fun being the sober one and not finding things hilariously funny that aren't! That and the fact that you need to be training at some nutty time the next day, it just doesn't fit. So if you are, or were a booze hound/hag, kiss those days goodbye now.
I almost forgot one other small part of proceedings that is going to take up too much time, especially near the end of the lean down when energy is at a premium. Posing.
  
Jason (pretty in pink) winning the Overall National NABBA Athletic Title 2011
The compulsory poses and your routine. The compulsory poses are very important, as getting all these wonderful muscles will mean nothing if you can’t display them to the judges! So with these, practise, practise, and practise. Get some good advice and pointers, and yes, more practise! It’s mad, even after four years, and 15 or so competitions, I am still learning how to get things right. It’s a never ending process, so get in front of that mirror and yup, practise. Your posing routine is not so vital, as it is not judged, but it is your chance to showcase your good bits, and hide your bad bits. Me, with two left feet and the rhythm of a tone deaf former front row forward find this a real challenge. Maybe find someone to help out – a dance teacher, or someone with a bit of rhythm at the very least!
Finally food preparation. The key to beating the demon is being organised. If you have all your meals prepared then you're not going to find yourself at 3 in the afternoon running around looking for a protein bar or shake. We do all the food prep for the following days meals as we cook dinner.
This also means that you have to be prepared with your shopping and have the pantry well stocked at all times, otherwise you won't be prepared for the following day, and the food demon gets his foot in the door.
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