Is your relationships nectar or poison?

I'm given alot of literature from supplement companies which include an array of supplements (ofcourse) to fitness magazines to more inspirational aspects of fitness. One of these books is from isatori "the ultimate 21 day ultimate energy plan' by Stephen Adele. Its a small booklet which gives you steps on how you can energise your life.  Yes its a little 'touchy feely' (boys! you'll find this relevant to you too) but it does have some good aspects to help you to bring more positivity into your life.  One of the sections is called 'learn to release' which talks about relationships how their influence can nurture or poison your success in life. 

I really believe that to achieve in anything, whether it be in life or sport, you need a good support around you to get where you want to go.  And to ditch the things that hinder you.  Hence, I've found this section of the book really interesting, so I've taken an exerpt from it so you can too decifer who are the people who will nourish or poison your future goals:  

" Basically there are two types of relationships: those with individuals who, when they're in your presence, make you feel better about yourself a relationship that nomally supports your every move - excites, inspires, and energizes you, and even challenges you to be your best. I call these people your nectar. They nourish your energy.

Then, there are those with individuals who tend to constantly drain you, bring you down, are self centred, and put you into a defensive mode.  I call these people poison.  They are negative, toxic, parasitic to your existence and drain your energy. Associating only with healthy, like-minded, positive people will: * increase your chances of having more success * uplift your energy * put you in a positive mood * increase your confidence

To determine whether a relationship drains or energizes you, I've found the following questions useful for discovering how, or if, you should work to strengthen the relationship or drop the relationship altogether:

* Does this person provide me with a give and take exchange of ideas, energy and time? (the opposite would be if they're usually looking to gain something for themselves and are generally pessimistic about life)

* When I am around this person, do I feel energized or revved up? (the opposite would be feeling drained and lacking the motivation to want to do anything)

 

* Can this person celebrate my success with me? ( the opposite would be, do they respond with jealousy and alienate me in this type of situation) * When I share my goals with this person do I feel as though they have taken a real interest in them? (have I shown an interest in theirs as well?)

 

* And most important: does my relationship with this person fill me with more energy and generally make me feel good? (opposite, ofcourse, would be do they drain my energy and make me feel fatigued?)

If you've answered ‘No" to the first part of any one of these questions, it might be time to reassess this relationship, in order to salvage it, or simply leave it. To live our lives optimally, and with more energy, we must realize that all of our most influential, impacting relationships should be with positive people.

These individuals will become your greatest strengths and your strongest supporters throughout your life.

Based on the assessments you've just made, however, its also a good idea to determine who those individuals are who might be dragging you down or those who you're sure will never really encourage and support your growth and provide positive, uplifting energy. Basically, you need to determine whether each of them are your nectar or your poison.

After this, I'd like you to go through the list again, only this time, put the letter ‘P' (for poison) alongside the names of those individuals who are negative and are generally pessimistic about life - people who are like parasites to our healthy, well being and energy.

Therefore, I'd like you to write out the five to ten people's names that you congregate, communicate or typically hang out with on a regular basis.  Along your list of these relationships, after you've asked yourself each of the questions I shared with you earlier, I'd like you to place the letter ‘N' (for nectar) next to those individuals who are positive, energizing, and nourish you and continually encourage you to be great.

 

"Nectar" Relationships	"Poison" Relationships
_______________ _______________ _______________ _______________	_______________ _______________ _______________ _______________

With the ‘N's and ‘P's now listed, you've likely found a few people who feel ‘misplaced' and your gut feeling, as sour as it maybe, is highly intuitive and, well, to put it bluntly - is right!  So, if you feel like someone is in the wrong place, move that person where they rightfully belong. (No one other than you should see this...so be honest - its critically important to your future happiness.)

Next, it should come as no surprise as to which of the two relationships you must stay away from! The latter of the two (the second list), of course.  This is your poison, and because an intimate relationship with any of these people would literally derail your chances of living a successful, energizing life, I suggest you take your pen, right now, and make a big, thick ‘X' across this portion of your list.  Unfortunately, many of us cannot get ourselves to ‘give up' old relationships, even with those in our ‘P' list."

exerpt from 'The 21 day ultimate energy plan" by Stephen Adele, isatori