But no matter how much I want (and need) to lose the weight, I won't ‘go to the dark side' for the short term loss as I know the weight will come back double fast. I want to compete knowing that I've done everything I could as honestly as I can to achieve what I did with what I have. Just look at how many people who've been on stuff and a couple weeks later blow up like a balloon. Not nice. At least I know if my weight goes off slow, it'll come back slow - or stay off for good - here's hoping!